Campain
Hi, I'm Derek.
For 18 years, I've been starting projects, hyperfocusing for hundreds or thousands of hours, getting to 90% complete... and then something happens and I can't finish.
Again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Dozens of times. Hundreds of times.
Eighteen years. That's a whole lifetime of not really growing up.
I was recently diagnosed as neurodivergent (ADHD + autism). When they told me, my first thought was: "Oh. THAT'S why."
I should have asked for help a long time ago. But I've never asked for help from anyone except my mom (hi Mom!), and she needs to retire. She's already invested 18 years and $80,000 in me, and I can't keep doing that to her.
So here I am. Finally admitting I can't do this alone.
HOW WE GOT HERE (The Very Long Story, Short Version)
18 years ago, I started my first ItsJustLife.com project. Didn't finish it. About a year of work, then... nothing.
Then I spent 10 years working on a book about Leonardo da Vinci. Eventually gave up.
Then I started "Project Den"—building a VR creative studio. Documented everything. Thousands of hours of footage. Never finished it.
You get the pattern.
4 YEARS AGO: THE BIG BEAR GAMBLE
COVID happened. Our cabin in Big Bear doubled in value overnight. Big Bear became the #1 Airbnb rental location in the country.
We had a decision to make: sell while it's worth something, or figure out van life because our cabin was too small.
Then the cabin across the street went up for sale. Overpriced, but... we also managed to buy the two vacant lots next to it in two separate deals. (Thanks Mom. Bye bye Erick's 401k.)
It was a nightmare transaction, but it led to a dream: we could stay in our original cabin and rent the other one out. Or live in the new one while I finally remodeled our cabin into the studio I'd been working on for 5 years.
This is where the story gets complicated.
The escrow company mixed up the lot numbers. They blamed me for it.
And they accidentally sold me my neighbor's house instead of the vacant lots we were buying from him.
Yes, you heard that right. My neighbor accidentally sold me his house.
THE COVID RENOVATION DISASTER
We started renovating. We had half the cabin demolished when COVID fully hit.
We were doing dishes and laundry in the bathroom.
We had no heater. No fireplace. (We tore those out too.)
But we kept going because the plan was to finish it and rent it out while living in our original cabin.
Then we realized: we couldn't live AND work in our original cabin. It's too small. I had to finish my studio first.
Erick got a new job. He was making enough—still paycheck to paycheck, but enough. We could move back into the rental cabin while I finished the studio in our original cabin.
Finally!
THAT DAY, ERICK GOT LAID OFF.
THE ESCROW NIGHTMARE GETS WORSE
The escrow company didn't fix the lot number mistake correctly. I ended up involved in a lawsuit trying to clean it all up.
We decided to sell everything and start over.
Then interest rates spiked and the Big Bear boom was over—we couldn't sell.
So we decided to stay and try to make it work.
I had FINALLY gotten my studio space to the point where I could actually work from it for the first time ever.
And then Erick lost his job.
THE 3-MONTH DEADLINE THAT BROKE US
We had about 3 months of credit left.
The plan: Erick finishes our app, I finish my art project, we release them, we finally break free of debt, get financially independent, my mom can retire, and we can move forward.
And I can show my mom that 18 years of investment in me was worth it.
Our brains just couldn't take the pressure. We didn't make the deadline.
So I started looking at other options. Could we get a loan against the vacant lots to buy more time?
That's when I discovered they never updated the loan documents.
The loan is unsecured. It's still tied to my neighbor's house (bad for him, REALLY bad). Technically the lots are mine, but morally? They're not. Yet.
I tried to get the escrow company to make it right. They lawyered up. They stopped responding. I reported them to California regulators (Department of Real Estate, Department of Financial Protection and Innovation).
But I still can't get a loan because of the messed-up title.
And we're out of time.
WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW
Cabin 460 (the studio that was supposed to save us):
Roof is half off (I tore it off trying to find the leaks myself)
No running water
No bathroom
Not insulated
Mudroom collapsing
No proper drainage
Could be condemned
The list goes on.
Our situation:
Three mortgages
Owe Mom $80,000 (18 years of her believing in me)
Erick still hasn't found a job (but is almost done with the app)
My art project is ready to release as-is, but I literally can't think straight
Winter is coming
Even if I had the money, it would be impossible for me to handle all this alone before snow
All signs point to: I need help.
And I finally have to admit defeat and ask for it.
THE PATTERN (Why Neurodivergence Matters)
Here's what happens in my brain:
Step 1: Find something I'm passionate about
Step 2: Hyperfocus for hundreds/thousands of hours
Step 3: Get to 90% complete
Step 4: Crisis happens (money, housing, health, whatever)
Step 5: Brain can't compartmentalize the crisis AND finish the project
Step 6: Project sits, unfinished, haunting me
Step 7: Eventually abandon it or start something new
Step 8: Repeat for 18 years
Projects I've started but never finished:
First ItsJustLife.com project (18 years ago) → About a year of work, abandoned
10-year book about Leonardo da Vinci → Gave up
"Project Den" (VR studio build) → Thousands of hours of footage, never finished
Mona Lisa digital restoration → Years of work, thousands of hours, still not released
The App (with Erick) → Almost done, been months
Studio renovation → 5 years of work before Big Bear, still incomplete
Cabin 460 renovation → Started 4 years ago, 90% there, can't finish
The footage exists. The work exists. I have thousands of hours of content sitting on hard drives.
But how am I going to edit that when I can't even organize my hard drive to find it?
I've been practicing for 18 years.
Now it's time to act.
But I can't act when I'm drowning.
WHAT I'M ASKING FOR
A licensed contractor estimated $45,000-$56,000 to make Cabin 460 habitable and up to code before winter.
I'm asking for $50,000 to cover the critical repairs AND keep us from losing everything:
Winter Survival (Cabin 460):
$11,000 - Complete the roof (professional, before snow)
$8,000 - Rebuild collapsing mudroom
$5,000 - Foundation leveling + drainage (prevent flooding)
$4,000 - Plumbing rough-in (toilet, shower, sink, water heater)
$4,000 - Electrical upgrade to code (100A panel, GFCI circuits)
$3,000 - Heating system (mini-split for mountain winters)
Keeping Everything:
$10,000 - Pay down three mortgages (prevent foreclosure)
$5,000 - Give Erick time to finish the app instead of taking any job immediately
Total: $50,000
This isn't about renovating. This is about surviving winter and having enough breathing room to finally release the work I've been building in the shadows for 18 years.
WHAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON
The Mona Lisa Restoration
I've been digitally restoring the Mona Lisa for years. Thousands of hours of work.
I can't spend more time on it. I'm releasing it as-is and updating it as I go—each phase becomes a limited edition print available at DiscoveringDaVinci.com.
Phase 1 is where it is now. If you buy a print, you own that moment in the restoration journey. As I continue working, new phases become available, and the old ones become collectibles.
It's not about perfection anymore. It's about actually RELEASING something.
Project Den (The VR Studio)
For 10 years I worked on a book about Leonardo da Vinci. Eventually gave up.
Then I started "Project Den"—building a VR creative studio. I documented everything. Thousands of hours of footage.
Never finished it. We moved to Big Bear. The footage sits on hard drives I can't organize.
But it exists. The content is there. I just need the space and stability to actually produce it.
The App
Erick and I have been building an app. It's almost done. He needs to get a job now instead of finishing it.
If we had just a little breathing room, he could complete it and we could finally launch something.
The Studio
I've been building creative spaces for 10 years. Never finished one. Always had to move, always had another crisis, always got to 90% and stopped.
Cabin 460 was supposed to be THE ONE. The studio where I finally do the work I've been preparing for.
Now I just need it to be weatherproof so I can work in it.
PHASE 2: THE AVIARY
If we exceed the $50k goal, the next phase is building a proper aviary sanctuary for my parrots.
I have birds who need better housing. I have hundreds of hours of footage of them already.
The plan:
Build insulated, solar-powered aviaries
Live-feed cameras (24/7 streaming)
Their own YouTube channel
Safe, enriching environment
Eventually take in rescue birds
The content is already there. I just need to build the structure and set up the cameras.
It's another almost-finished project waiting for stability to launch.
OTHER WAYS YOU CAN HELP
If you can't donate, you can still support:
→ Buy Art:
Mona Lisa restoration prints (limited edition phases) at DiscoveringDaVinci.com
→ Share The Story:
Full escrow nightmare documentation (emails, wrong deed, everything) at ItsJustLife.com
→ Follow The Journey:
[Social media handles - Instagram/TikTok/YouTube]
Watch the cabin get finished, see the projects finally release
→ Just Believe Me:
Sometimes that's enough. Thank you.
WHY NOW?
Because winter is coming to Big Bear.
Because the roof is half off.
Because we were doing dishes and laundry in the bathroom with no heat during COVID and we STILL couldn't finish.
Because we have three mortgages we can't pay.
Because Erick needs a job instead of finishing our app.
Because I owe my mom $80,000 and 18 years of her life believing in me.
Because my brain literally can't think straight with all this unresolved.
Because after 18 years—a whole lifetime—of almost-finishing projects, I'm ready to actually RELEASE something.
Because I finally understand that I can't do this alone.
And that's okay.
WHAT THIS MEANS
If we hit this goal:
✓ We survive winter
✓ We keep the properties
✓ Erick finishes the app
✓ I release my art project (as-is, and keep improving it)
✓ We finally break free of debt
✓ We get financially independent
✓ My mom can RETIRE
✓ We can move forward
And I can show that 18 years of investment was worth it.
THANK YOU
I don't want to have to ask. I've never asked anyone but my mom for help.
But all signs point to this being the right move.
I'm not asking you to solve my whole life.
I'm asking for help to:
Survive winter
Keep three properties from foreclosure
Give Erick time to finish the app
Give me the mental space to finally release my work
After 18 years of practicing in the shadows, it's time to act.
But I can't act when I'm drowning.
Help me get to the surface.
Help me finally finish something.
— Derek Bair
P.S. If you want the full, messy, documented escrow disaster story (it's sometimes hilarious, sometimes terrible), visit ItsJustLife.com.
Yes, you heard that right: my neighbor accidentally sold me his house.
It's real. It's insane. And it's still not fixed.
But it's also just one piece of a much bigger pattern: someone who gets to 90% and then life happens and the project sits.
This is me breaking that pattern.
Finally.