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Chapter 13
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Interjection Eight
How could you know what to believe? Just because you see or read something doesn’t mean that it’s by any means true. I began to consider the honesty of art and literature.
I would go off on a train of thoughts into possibilities and then thankfully end with “So what?” There seems to be a human propensity to HAVE to be right. There usually isn’t a consideration for being wrong. Is there a big foot? What do you think?
Some say there is, some say there isn’t. But unless you search every single spot in the entire world; until you can prove there isn’t then there might be! BUT also, if there is no way to prove there is, then there might not be as well. The most important moral to the idea of controversy is why? What makes one person believe there is and another to totally dismiss it when presented with the same information? What makes one person right and one person wrong when no one knows for sure anyways?
It’s hard to remember exactly how I used to think but I was very opinionated, I couldn’t be wrong. I thought that just because I thought something was right – it was. I believed that my belief in something made it real. A possibility not proven creates a lot of confusion doesn’t it? But I guess the source of confusion is the unknown. The need for yes or no – true or false – positive or negative. This is probably because consciousness is based on making decisions and making the one’s that are correct. We can’t justify making a decision that is deemed wrong. There is a human susceptibility towards making their personal beliefs the only belief possible. That’s why people lie to themselves. They need to convince themselves that they are making the right decision even if it’s not. There is a quote I like that says;
"Don't let the approval of others determine your belief in yourself."
But don’t forget that sometimes it’s our own beliefs that are wrong..
As I’m sure you can tell I wasn’t just considering my thoughts but how and why I was thinking them. Here’s something that will get you thinking:
TRY IT:
Think. (A prompt) Green (A color) ___________ (Write something that’s green) Why did you choose that? Was it grass? What is your thought made of? Images, words, letters, sounds? How do you THINK? If you read the word:
Compulsion.
What does that make you think of? Interestingly thinking is a compulsion. If you’re presented with someone you’re brain will try to label, process, analyze, and contemplate it. Can anything truly be ignored? I’m sure everyone reading this has had something they’ve wanted to stop thinking about and found that the harder they tried, the harder it became. It’s like trying to keep your eyes open without blinking. The more you think about it, the more you notice your eyes getting dry. When you’re TRYING to not to think about something, the trying empowers it. The elephant in the room grows the more you try to ignore it. The essence of ignorance.
Another interesting thing I considered is what brings about a thought? Our experiences supply memories and give us basis for future decisions but how do our minds even understand sentences?
How are you understanding this sentence? Have you ever thought about it before? Why does the question make you think more than a statement? Is a question a compulsion? Do you really have to answer? Why or why not?
Why do we HAVE to do anything? Why do we HAVE to think a certain way? It seems, quite like dogs who are conditioned to sit and go for walks – our minds are either looking for someone to tell us what to do, or avoid getting in trouble for doing what we really want.
Good Dog (God is Dog in reverse, exact opposites)
There are two different ways to view the world – to consider our existence. One is; We are the center of the universe, our consciousness believes we’re all there is. Everything else is subjective. Life is like a dream and everything that happens - happens for a reason. There are people watching us, at all times, carefully considering everything we do. –Judging us.. We are souls trapped in a body. Everything you do is accounted for and results in something either positive or negative. We believe there is always a right or wrong way to do something. We are inside looking out at our masters. Our purpose is defined for us by someone or something else. Everything is decided for us, we are workers, soldiers, and part of something. It’s as if we’re fish in a fish tank – under the observation and manipulation of an external force. We dream of the impossible. We pray for it, we wait for miracles. We are emotional children, we think like dogs, we are controlled.
Or
We are a single spot in all of infinite but ordered -chaos. We look at ourselves from the outside in. Our actions have no significance other than what we make of them. We are in complete control of everything we do, we build our world in our image. We are capable and can do anything we choose. We exist separate from everything else, even if dependent on it. We base our decisions off of what we want and need and not the rest of the word or an outside force. We observe and manipulate what we choose. We don’t dream but imagine a potential. We think like gods, We are in control.
The peasant vs the political leader (King). This seems to be what separates the masses from the elite. Those who serve and those who are served. Those who are loved, and those who love. Those who rule and those who are ruled. Those who think and believe what others believe and those who think for themselves. The father and the son.
It seems that we’re usually born with the option but most don’t get the opportunity for greatness, they’re trapped beneath someone else. Their parents, their teachers, their country, the rules. Then there are those who make the rules and rebel against authority to try to become the authority.
Nothing is more feared or respected than a rebel with a good cause.
After all, why does one person with the same opportunities become nothing and the other something? Why do some reach for the stars and others dig their own grave? Who’s really in control? Why can’t we look at that piece of pizza and say – no!!! I will not eat you. Doubts, you are resolved. Fears, you are conquered. For those who strive for great things we must realize that we never fail if we keep trying, everything we want is ours – although sometimes requires an equally great effort.
Failure it seems is a self fulfilling prophecy.
And so my mind wanders, it wonders, it tries to grasp the truth. Why do I think the way I do? What is it that guides them? Why am I not content eating and sleeping and working for someone else? Why has every day of my life felt like I’m disappointing myself in some way? Why can’t I stand to be told what to do, yet search for someone else to help me?
My greatest weakness, it seemed, were my self doubts.
My own “Mona Lisa” and Best Friend Carrie Cabronanana Cuadra
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